Put a donk on it

Cheap redbull.
The Macarena.
Bellies out.
Put a donk on it.
Put a donk on it.
Put a donk on it.

Today has been a good day.

Swinstead is dead.
Long live Swinstead.

Getting there. I think.

I'm trying to decide whether I'm going anywhere with my life.

I always feel like I'm getting there, like I'm working towards the things I want. But I never get to where I want to be.

It's not that I don't achieve my goals; I do. It's more that the goals I aim for are the wrong ones.

I can't find the right ones.

I'm looking, though. I feel like the time is right not to achieve my goals in life, but at least to find out what they are.

It's ineffable.

It's a project.

It's a bird. It's a plane.

It's greased lightning.

Swinstead is dead. Long live Swinstead.

Suave

Yes. That will be all.

Asia Argento

Here's the most concise Asia Argento biograpghy I could find:

Asia Argento writes stories and novels, directs music videos, documentaries, and feature films, and appears in movies, sometimes with her clothes on.

None of which I care much about, I just like her because she has the sexiest tattoo ever, as you can see in this specially blogsafe edited pic.

Awesome.

I need a new job

I've been looking at houses to rent or buy and the conclusion i've come to is i need a new job. I like my job so it's a shame but it just doesn't pay enough for me to comfortably be able to get my own flat.

I could ask for a raise but it wouldn't be a big one because it's not a high paying industry, for example my boss who was 20 years experience and is the manager of all the company operations only gets paid about £5k more than i do.

So i'm currently accepting job offers, send them on a postcard or with a self addressed envelope to Swinstead for president, PO box 123456.

Swinstead is dead. Long live Swinstead.

Here's to another blurry weekend

I woke up to find this on my arm this morning with no initial recollection of the story behind it. Perhaps that's a sign i drink too much.

Tennis sucks

R-fed and namibia are supposedly the two best tennis players in the world. So why then can they not even get a decent rally going? This is such a shit game to watch.

Hour and a half to go

Oh i've been working all week i'm tired.
Yea i've been working all week and i'm
just livin for the weekend.

Hey hey.
Got some money i just got paid.
Got some money and i can't wait.
At six o'clock i'm out of here.

Out there tonight is the night of my last got my name on.
Run down the street adidas on my feet, i'm on fire.

Working all the time.
Work is such a bind.
Got some money to spend.
Livin for the weekend.

When it gets too much i live for the rush.
Got some money to spend.
Livin for the weekend.

Oh man!
Yea i've been workin all week i'm shot.
Yea i've been workin all week for what?
Just livin for the weekend.
Ah shit!

The Swinkle Cycle

As I have a habit of doing, I've been spending time recently analysing every aspect of my life.

This is partly because I have nothing better to do but moreover because I just think too much. You wouldn't think the latter to be true - largely because the things I usually think about are if I had a miner bird I'd train it to say 'sorry, it was me' every time I farted, not the most intellectual of meandering thought trains - but nontheless I've been thinkign and have realised that my social life is in a constantly progressing cycle.

The cycle starts at ... well, it doesn't start anywhere, it's a cycle, it goes around and around. Who knows which bit comes first?

Let's for argument's sake say that it starts with me in a relationship. This is phase 1 of the cycle. Now I'm not married yet so obviously every relationship I've been in has ended, for whatever reason. So phase 1 is when the relationship ends.

Phase 2. So then I'm single. Usually during this phase I'm still sleeping with my ex for a while. In fact this has happened with every ex girlfriend so far, but sooner or later I get sick of them or vice versa, or both, and we part ways for good.

So then I start seeing friends again. And I start going out again. And I start drinking. This is phase 3. I usually go off the rails at this point, getting drunk all 3 days of every weekend, and during the week too. I get carried away with going out having fun. I end up making a complete tit of myself by coming onto girls in the most pissed up undignified way ever. I'm still fresh from the relationship and I don't want an new girl anyway, the only reason I'm doing it is because I can!

In phase 3 I usually weite very open, honest blogs about my life ;)

Until phase 4. During phase 4, after coming onto lots of girls just because I can, it doesn't take long before I actually end up with one. Then for an ineffably stupid reason I end up going out with said girl even though I don't want to yet.

Phase 5. "The Girlfriend". I lose contact with my friends because I take my relationship too seriously and ignore everything else. I don't go out. I don't have fun. I get miserable. We break up.

Phase 6. See phase 1.

I'm currently in phase 3. I like phase 3. Phase 3 is the best one.