The Swinkle Cycle

As I have a habit of doing, I've been spending time recently analysing every aspect of my life.

This is partly because I have nothing better to do but moreover because I just think too much. You wouldn't think the latter to be true - largely because the things I usually think about are if I had a miner bird I'd train it to say 'sorry, it was me' every time I farted, not the most intellectual of meandering thought trains - but nontheless I've been thinkign and have realised that my social life is in a constantly progressing cycle.

The cycle starts at ... well, it doesn't start anywhere, it's a cycle, it goes around and around. Who knows which bit comes first?

Let's for argument's sake say that it starts with me in a relationship. This is phase 1 of the cycle. Now I'm not married yet so obviously every relationship I've been in has ended, for whatever reason. So phase 1 is when the relationship ends.

Phase 2. So then I'm single. Usually during this phase I'm still sleeping with my ex for a while. In fact this has happened with every ex girlfriend so far, but sooner or later I get sick of them or vice versa, or both, and we part ways for good.

So then I start seeing friends again. And I start going out again. And I start drinking. This is phase 3. I usually go off the rails at this point, getting drunk all 3 days of every weekend, and during the week too. I get carried away with going out having fun. I end up making a complete tit of myself by coming onto girls in the most pissed up undignified way ever. I'm still fresh from the relationship and I don't want an new girl anyway, the only reason I'm doing it is because I can!

In phase 3 I usually weite very open, honest blogs about my life ;)

Until phase 4. During phase 4, after coming onto lots of girls just because I can, it doesn't take long before I actually end up with one. Then for an ineffably stupid reason I end up going out with said girl even though I don't want to yet.

Phase 5. "The Girlfriend". I lose contact with my friends because I take my relationship too seriously and ignore everything else. I don't go out. I don't have fun. I get miserable. We break up.

Phase 6. See phase 1.

I'm currently in phase 3. I like phase 3. Phase 3 is the best one.