Played until my fingers bled

There's something to be said for working so hard you go home covered in sweat, stinking like a cow's rear end. It's a sort of quaint satisfaction that you could never get from a day's work behind a desk. It makes you feel like you've really done something good with your day, like you've earned your stay in this world for another little while, like you're a real man who does things men are meant to do.

Either that or I'm just full of shit.

Yesterday I literally played guitar until my fingers bled.

That will be all kids. Until next time, ta-ta.

Back to school

Through some peculiar accident that I'm yet to fully comprehend, I seem to have become a student once again. After meeting with one of the tutors last week to discuss it, and applying for the course soon after, today I had my interview with the course coordinator and I'm now officially accepted onto a HNC in computing.

Several weeks from now I will be fully settled into the student lifestyle and I may be caught wearing a duffel coat, drinking alcopops on a Thursday night, or even - god forbid - enjoying The Mighty Boosh. Should any of these things happen I give anyone reading this permission to slap me.

Please.

Sunday Fucking Funday

First of all, might I just say that the reason I haven't posted for a while is because I was on holiday and it was AWESOME! 7 days in the sun with copious amounts of alcohol is always going to amount to some crazy shenanigans and fantastic adventures, which is exactly what happened.

Towards the end I felt like I really wanted to come home but now I'm here I want nothing more than to go back. It was a fantastic place but I missed being away from my home comforts like my own bed, flushing toilet paper, and of course my huge porn collection.

Since the holiday I've come home to find myself unemployed which is taking a little getting used to. I find that it usually takes a week or two for it to sink in that you haven't got a job and you need to get one - until then you just enjoy being off work - but meanwhile it's hard to get motivated to do anything. That's the period I'm in now.

In other news, as some of you may know I've been trying to lose some weight for a couple of months now. I haven't been keeping people updated because I'm well aware nobody gives a shit, but today I reached a milestone that I think is worth mentioning. As of today I now FINALLY weigh less than 15 stone. I figured out the key - less food, more Jack Daniels! Dieting is so much fun!

The other miraculous discovery I've just made is 80p Sundays in liquid! SUNDAY FUCKING FUNDAY!

Sundays are dead. Long live Sundays!

Chocolate eating techniques #1

To properly eat a twix, one must first carefully and precisely consume the top layer of chocolate and caramel, being sure to avoid any dental contact with the biscuit layer.

When done properly, a row of small holes in the biscuit should be clearly visible, as shown.