January. It was January 2nd when I got my driving licence back, after 9 long, hard months spent on foot or behind the handlebars of a GT Aggressor, while serving a driving ban.
That's right kids, I fought the law and the law won.
So I learnt my lesson. Or did I?
June. It was June 13th that I lost my temper for the first time in a few years and ended up committing the assault that, inevitably, led to a 100-hour community service order.
So come see me, Sunday morning at a public park near you. I'll be the guy wearing a yellow carnation, a top hat, and a "community payback" hi-viz. Be there or be square!
Anyway, aside from my underground criminal activities by night, as you all know I'm a mild mannered office worker by day. Inbetween the two I come home to Hayley and Dogbot, usually to find one of them making a mess in the kitchen and the other one licking their own body parts, and, to be honest, which one is which varies every day.
I should probably be upstairs in bed, to be honest I only came downstairs to check out a noise in my pajamas. What a stray noise was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know!
In a few weeks when I've got through this month of mega bills, I am going to begin living the dream. My life will never be quite the same again, after it undergoes the transformation. That's right, no longer will I be David Swinstead, Loser.... from then onwards I will become, David swinstead... Guy With A Bar In His Cellar!
That's a really bad name for a superhero.
